The Etiquette School Blog: Children Misbehaving in Restaurants

Much has been said about "children misbehaving in restaurants".

In the past, when communities were not as transient, seasoned friends and family members guided new parents towards correct child rearing. Nowadays, many of us do not have the luxury of living close to friends let alone family. Therefore, when it comes to civility, parents and children are left to fend for themselves .

Parents hope that their children will learn proper behavior on their own, as they grow older. Yet, children cannot be expected to behave properly, if they have never been taught to do so at home. This is why I have decided to weigh in on the topic.

Since there is not a manual for parenting, I urge you to please share these pointers with other parents/caretakers. Children's self-esteem is elevated when they know how to behave in a given situation. It is the unknown that makes children (and adults, for that matter) uncomfortable.
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1- If the child is a toddler, a parent should be well prepared prior to going out. This means bringing a container of crackers, a filled sipper cup and a small (quiet) toy for the child to play with while on a high chair. One cannot expect for a toddler to have the same amount of patience as an adult, when waiting for food to be prepared.

2- If the child is in the early elementary years, a few crayons and a piece of paper will keep him occupied. Don't forget the crackers. A hungry child is an unruly child. Parents should review proper manners for the location, prior to parking the car.

3- As the child gets older, her patience expands. This is a learned social skill. However, an appetizer will fend off the “When is the food going to get here?” question. Incidentally, the answer to this is, “As soon as they make it.”

4- Once the food is served, have them “showcase” their table manners. Again, other than a quick prompt or two, the proprieties of dining are learned at home. Aside from the basics, this means no: playing with the flatware, catapulting food, crawling under the table, blowing “bubbles” in a beverage, standing on the chairs or laying on the booths!

5- Don't get too distraught when a pre-teen (or teen) makes fun of proper behavior around his peers. He is simply flexing his "independence muscle". The point is for this age group is to know what to do and at which time to do so. That means that when your teen is with you, or any other adult, they are to behave respectfully.

Now that you have a plan for your children, take advantage of receiving my gift of 5 Adult Etiquette Tips (or send them to someone who might be in desperate need of EER- Emergency Etiquette Resuscitation! ) by visiting: www.TheEtiquetteSchool.com